How To Fail At Writing And Still Win Big

Abrams is my name, and here I have a book
You’ll see it’s trimmed in gold and bound in leather
From Brim to brim, each cover to cover
The prompts that make stories course as its blood
The heartbeat made of dozens of narratives
Each one a potential gem, waiting to be mined.
Here are my scissors, and here is my hat
Cut apart this– ugh! I have no need for that!
Lots of tiny slips of paper, shards of novel ideas
All of those into this here hat, and stir it with a stick
No finer lubrications to make the story tick!
Here’s a little dartboard I bought for $9.99.
Here’s a bunch of glue I bought for $2.99.
Oh, and that’s without sales tax, friends.
(We must all pay for our city budgets, after all)
Shuffle the hat one last time, shuffle-shuffle-shuffle!
(Loving that sound the paper makes!)
Coat the board in glue –a dot will never do–
And now we hang this on the wall– hope you’re taking notes!
One more last shuffle because I love the sound
And we hurl the hat-slips on the board!
Does this plot match this one– well who cares?!
It was obviously done on purpose, and we’ll explain it later.
Rinse, lather repeat, rinse, lather, repeat.
Do this five more times, once a year, and BOOM!
That’s how a TV show is written, my son.
That’s how we make a hit.
Words, words, slither in the glue.
And if you’re confused, don’t worry about it.
It never was written for you.


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