Tired of anger, Tired of fear

Nobody should hate white racists (or black, asian, or latino ones, or any race for that matter) for being having their skin color or being their race. Nobody chooses skin color, or the circumstances of their birth.

Hate the crime, most definitely, but speaking as a white male who will soon be living on my own, the race issue is becoming so divisive that I am afraid to say ANYTHING AT ALL to people who aren’t white for fear of being labeled racist, and that’s not how you fix something like racism. Fear can never ever solve fear. Fear can never solve hatred or anger.

It can only ever make things worse.

As a child, I went to school with black kids, and all I saw were kids like me. I never once pondered or cared that they looked differently from me.

Now I look around, and I am afraid. Afraid because I am a white person, and someone will accuse me of racism because of something I said or did innocently– I am also autistic and don’t have the best social skills, so my fears are magnified even further.

I have nothing. No money, no job, no home but with my parents, and not for lack or trying.

But I’m told to “check my privilege”.

Because I have SO MUCH. I am barely scraping by, surviving on my family’s generosity, and we aren’t rich. But dammit, that white privilege! I seem to have it in spades, because what do I know about my own life?!

I’m afraid of people now more than I ever have been. I’ve withdrawn into my home like a witch being hunted, hoping it will all blow over if I just stay out of the light.

I’m angry, I’m scared, and I’m white.

I just want people to get along. I want harmony, and all this anger and fear I see and feel won’t fix anything or help anybody.

Why the hell can’t people forget all about skin color or race and see our fellow man like a child?

“Hi, I’m Drew!”
“I’m Shelley!”
“Why’s your skin brown, Shelley?”
“I was born like that.”
“Wow! That’s neat! Care to trade my Pringles for your granola bar?”
“Sure!”

We might solve a lot of problems by emulating our children in this way.

Guys, gals, I am tired of being scared. Why isn’t the world tired of being angry?

It should be. We all should be.

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