A dream of everywhere wifi

All last year, I heard repeated claims like this guy’s: wifi is “everywhere”, so why bother with a 3G or 4G LTE plan for your devices?

Because I live in FUCKING ALASKA.

Yes, Wifi is everywhere, but only in a locked-down-tighter-than-Alcatraz manner. People, even restaurants, usually don’t like random strangers flitting through their connections and slowing everything down. No password, no access. It is the way of our people. There is very little free internet to be had in my world; and I’m not in rural Alaska either. We’re talking Anchorage, also known as THE BIGGEST FRIGGIN CITY IN THE STATE. We’re not exactly lacking for wifi opportunities; the available and connectable wifi that is “everywhere” simply isn’t there. It doesn’t exist in my state.

There is no reason for me not to have a mobile data plan, because that is frankly the only sensible and reliable means of mobile connectivity up here in this MASSIVE land.

So don’t talk about how wifi is everywhere. In effect, it is not, even if the hardware and signals are.

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